Don't stop...belieeeeevin. Hold on to that feeeeeelin'

Streetlights? People? Uhhhhho ooooooh!

It's been a long time. After last year's oh for four record with Harvard, Chicago, Yale and Wharton, I found myself reluctant to jump back in. So I spent the summer redoing the GMAT and planned to reapply next fall (to enroll fall 2011). After improving my score my score and embracing a new "take a chance" mentality, I decided to submit ONE re-app.

Which I just sent off 2 minutes ago to the Lauder program at Wharton. It's interesting the progress and growth you can find in just one year. As I re-examined my essays and limited feedback to four key individuals (instead of asking everyone and their mother...most of whom were not in nor ever going to be in the business school world), I found what I wrote last year to be inaccurate. Not that I was being dishonest - but I don't know if I truly believed my story. This year, I do.

And it feels amazing. Again, even if this process doesn't work out I have so much to be thankful for. Writing all these apps, explaining stories, telling people about motivations that prove to be crap...it has allowed me to figure out what I am good at, what I want to do, and what I enjoy doing. So thank you, evil app process. You've actually done me some good.

:-P

-the bird (is the word)

Looking Forward

Reevaluation.

It's funny how applying to business school changes you. I knew last fall I wanted to do an MBA program. And many of you are thinking, "Earlybird is probably anti-MBA now." Well, you're totally wrong. If anything, the rejection from all four schools has only reinforced that business school is where I want to be. I just had the wrong reason for applying and it was like a bad pick up line: easily spotted and rejected.

So over the first few months of 2009 as I started a new job working as a director of strategy for a non-profit, I began thinking of where my life would take me and I've got my new two year plan.

Now til August: GMAT (again)
August to October: Work, Travel, Classes (Russian and Stats)
October to June 2010: CFA Level II prep
July to October 2010: Applications (again)
December: Acceptance...ideally!

I've got some time to revise and enhance my story and to refine my school list.

So yay for a new outlook and time to plan! It's now 3 AM and I'm watching "How I Met Your Mother" DVD's. And I got a 700 on a GMATPrep exam tonight. Life's good.

Lessons

Hmm. It looks like Yale won't come a calling. I'm cynically preparing myself for a possibility that may turn out to be the truth. They are supposed to let me know by April 10th and I haven't heard as much as a peep out of them.

But as I look back on a wild year of change, a few things stand out.

1.) My intended post-MBA career path was investment management. I wasn't writing it out of some greedy pursuit of wealth. I have been a student of the markets for a long time and I was hoping that a graduate degree would propel me into the industry. I picked the wrong year to attempt to enter an industry that has contracted by epic proportions.

2.) I applied too early. I was ready mentally and emotionally but not with my scores.

3.) I still need more international experience before I can re-apply to Lauder. Maybe master a fourth language. Spend a year in Spain or China.

4.) The application process teaches you a lot about yourself. Your goals, successes, failures and stories. It's an amazing thing to have to break down your life and try to explain how your experiences make you uniquely more qualified to go to business school than someone else.

I'll take these lessons with me as I slide into a future admission period. I probably won't apply next year since the app rates seem to be just as high. But who knows? Life's full of turns and twists.

I PASSED the CFA Level I Examination!!

Well, there is a silver lining to all the hard word I put in over the last. Despite being rejected from Harvard last week, I found out this morning that I passed the CFA Level I examination.

Validation.

Success.

And even though I'm not going to do Level II this spring (new job, too much going on), it still gives me hope in an otherwise bleak world. I can do it. I can do anything! (well...you know what I mean. haha)

A new year...

And my Yale app is done. I found something intriguing though as I worked on my essays. Only one essay reviewer was highly critical - and though at the time I was disgusted that she could be so harsh, her comments were likely what helped me the most.

For any of you who read this, you want people who will be honest and frankly, brutal. Admissions officers will give you the same kind of read (you and a gazillion other people). So take every comment with a grain of salt, look at it as an opportunity to improve, and make the changes.

That being said, I JUST submitted my Yale app and I am officially done with b-school apps (for this year anyway...lol). And of course since my life isn't hectic enough, two big changes. #1, I am starting to study for Level II of the CFA tomorrow night (even though I haven't received the results from Level I), and I start a new job in a couple weeks! Very exciting times. I just hope I survive.

I want to be a Bulldog!

Wow. A lot of changes going on in my life.

I'm still waiting for the official word on my Harvard app, but as many of you know, it's an insanely competitive year. I am working on my Yale application from now through January and that will be it for this year. While I will still visit USC and UCLA in January, I won't be applying to any other schools this year.

I look at my life as having a lot of options and potential paths. If I am able to get into Yale, I would accept. And if not, then I will work to strengthen my application over the next two years or until cycles change and the MBA goes back to being a less-desired course. As many have told me, I picked the worst year ever to apply. Maybe. Maybe not. I wasn't ready last year. And now that I have considered life without an MBA, I've got some solid perspective as to why I want one or why I need one (that's a whole separate post).

The CFA exam is done. I've spent the last two weeks completely neglecting my health in a drinking-loaded, party-hard, exercise-free orgy of complete sin. Delicious food. No lifting weights. I bought a Blu-Ray player and my first two movies were Dark Knight and Ratatouille. All in all, it's been a fun two weeks, but I am ready to get back into healthy mood. Also, changes coming at the workplace (all by choice, I might add).

So as 2009 approaches, let us all be thankful that 2008 is nearly behind us and excited for the possibilities ahead. For you MBA applicants, I wish you all the best of luck. Just remember, if you don't get in, it's not the end of the world. If you do get in, enjoy your options. ;-)

Reflection

It's been a whirlwind month for me. I work in financial services, so the market chaos is enough to give even the most experienced wall street'ers a headache times ten. Add in business school applications, the CFA, working with an Asian American leadership organization, and trying to balance some time with family, friends, and social networking, and you basically get overloaded.

I got rejected from Lauder (Wharton) shortly after I got rejected from Chicago. My best friend saw a post that I made on facebook which was a snippet from the Goo Goo Dolls song "Better Days" - he proceeded to make fun of me for posting whiny lyrics, then figured out I got rejected. He was apologetic for days.

At least that made me laugh. ;-) (he is my best friend...and we give one another more hell than most enemies, you should know)

After that, I proceeded back to studying for the CFA, an exam which I barely failed in June and one which I have been firmly resolved to pass for a year now. But frankly, there's just too much on my plate right now. A couple people have suggested I pull back a bit, and I plan to.

After much deliberation, I'm going to aim to move to China this spring and ignore finding a new job or MBA program for the time being. I'm hoping to enter a study program in Shanghai to bolster my language skills while also looking for work there, and I may still submit one last app to a second round school.

For any of you who actively read this, don't be afraid to have a plan B. I have a wonderful friend who's at Chicago right now. She pointed out, rightly so, that you don't NEED an MBA to do whatever you like. And I'm 26. Not too young, but clearly not old. I still have time.

I want to see the world. I was just hoping to do so under the guise of a study program with Wharton. But I am going to refocus and learn more about myself. I've been too comfortable for too long. I need to thrive on my own, creating a whole new set of friends, challenges, and stories.

I'll keep posting here until my decisions come in. Good luck to all of you. (and wish me luck on my CFA...t-minus 6 days!)